“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
— Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Strong voices for change are essential—not only in society, but within our organizations as well. Yet, a recent Leadership IQ survey reveals that only 29% of employees feel management listens to concerns without blame or defensiveness. This lack of responsiveness is compounded by broader issues of diminishing workplace civility and respect. According to Gallup, only 37% of U.S. employees feel they are treated with respect at work, a record low. SHRM reports that workplace incivility costs U.S. organizations over $2 billion per day in lost productivity and absenteeism, while Forbes highlights that employees in high civility environments experience less stress, higher engagement and greater productivity. These findings raise a critical question: What meaningful steps can leaders and organizations take to foster respectful cultures where all employees are inspired to do their best work?
Creating Space for Honest Dialogue
The first step toward meaningful change is listening—genuinely and without judgment. Innolect’s recent research shows that many employees feel uncomfortable speaking up about race-related concerns. They fear retaliation, doubt their voices will lead to change, or worry that speaking up might cause harm. When employees do raise issues, leaders may unintentionally respond with impatience, defensiveness, or vague commitments that lack follow-through.
To foster a culture of respect, leaders must demonstrate the courage to listen with empathy. Empathy doesn’t require agreement; it requires understanding. Unfortunately, many leaders have not been trained in empathetic listening and often express uncertainty: “I don’t know what to say or how to say it.”
Demonstrate the Skill of Empathy: It Can Be Learned
The encouraging news is that empathy is teachable. In healthcare, training physicians in empathy has led to higher patient satisfaction and better treatment outcomes. Similarly, in business, empathetic leadership improves employee engagement and retention. It also reduces grievances.
Change is rarely comfortable, yet addressing long-standing challenges is especially urgent. Even if discomfort arises, leaders must encourage open dialogue and show support by actively listening and being open to making changes. Courageous leadership means speaking up for those whose voices may not be heard, acknowledging personal discomfort, and creating safe spaces for others to share their experiences.
“There are times you must speak, not because you are going to change the other person, but because if you don’t speak, they have changed you.”
— Melissa McEwan, freelance writer and founder of Shakespeare’s Sister
Prepare for Difficult Conversations
Just as athletes train for competition, leaders must prepare for challenging conversations. Many leaders express fear about discussing sensitive topics, worried they’ll say the wrong thing. Mistakes happen—even with good intentions. For example:
- A CEO invited questions at a town hall but responded defensively.
- Senior leaders issued a blanket statement about openness, despite reports from employees feeling unsafe.
- A manager stayed silent, assuming a company-wide email was sufficient.
These examples highlight the need for intentional, empathetic leadership. Effective leaders build trust through relationships, know when to speak, and consistently demonstrate empathy in action.
Empathy and Radical Empathy Defined
- Empathy: The ability to understand and share another’s feelings, “putting yourself in their shoes.”
- Radical Empathy: Engaging respectfully with someone who may hold different beliefs, accepting their emotional complexity, and paraphrasing their feelings to show understanding.
Empathy in Practice: Five Respectful Responses
When someone shares a difficult experience, well-meaning responses can sometimes miss the mark. Avoid minimizing pain with phrases like “It’ll all work out” or “Look on the bright side.” Instead, consider these respectful approaches:
- Validate their feelings: Acknowledge that their pain is real and important.
- Listen fully: Focus on their story without shifting the conversation to your own experiences.
- Avoid fixing: Offer support without trying to solve their problem—show confidence in their resilience.
- Express gratitude: Thank them for their vulnerability. Sharing takes courage.
- Respond with empathy: Silence can be misinterpreted. A thoughtful word or gesture shows you care.
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